The magical and dreaded Valentine’s Day…

The time of year where we are all reminded of overwhelming love and desolate single-ness. A time of celebration, judgment, excitement, and loneliness.

Maybe it’s time to consider what Valentine’s Day could mean beyond a cozy date night, bouquet of roses, or heart-shaped box of chocolates.

Beyond the mindset of I have…or I have not…

We all have an innate need to feel a sense of love and belonging. We’re all human!

And there are many facets of love.

It’s time to consider how getting creative can turn a lonely, lacking holiday into a celebration of liberating love— towards ourselves, others, and the world.

4 Ways to Feel the Love this Valentine’s Day - even if you aren’t in a relationship:

1. Building Connection

Whether we want to admit it or not, we need others. That sense of belonging is powerful and necessary. In fact, humans are biologically programmed to establish connections to maintain our survival. So yes, we NEED connection!

For those in relationships, maybe building connection on Valentine’s Day looks like having an intimate dinner, movie night, or holding a deep conversation.

For those not in relationships, building connection on Valentine’s Day might look like attending your favorite workout class, asking a friend to meet up for dinner, scheduling a family trivia zoom, or visiting the dog park with your pup. On a day that can feel so isolating, feeling connected at any level can be powerful in soothing our need to feel seen and supported by others.

2. Considering Contribution

On a day that seems full of grandiose displays of affection, contribution may be flying under our love radar. Contribution offers a unique opportunity to connect with others and your values on a deeper level. An act of contribution generates a profound sense of love transcending beyond ourselves and extending to our relationships, communities, and larger systems.

Considering contribution this Valentine’s Day could be– donating to a close-to-your-heart charity, doing your partner’s heaping pile of laundry, dropping off donations to your local animal shelter, Door Dash-ing your bestie their favorite take-out order, or sending a text of appreciation to a co-worker.

3. Committing to Communication

We all have needs. If we fall into the mind-reading trap or the “if he wanted to he would” mentality, we’re setting ourselves up for utter disappointment. Communication is key in advocating for our needs. It’s not only an act of self-love, but an opportunity for those we care about to show up for us.

If you’re in a relationship this Valentine’s Day, committing to communication might be asking your partner to make a reservation at your favorite restaurant or reminding them that you really don’t like roses. Maybe it’s letting them know you had an awful day, and if they’re open to it, you’d love to reschedule your plans for another evening.

For single folks, committing to communication might be letting a friend know that you’re feeling down, reaching out to a family member to let them know you want to see them, or asking your boss to cut out early so you can attend that plan that fosters love, connection, and safety today.

4. Cultivating Self-Compassion

We all could benefit from a little more self-compassion, and especially so, on a day when judgments and comparisons weigh heavily. We all hold worth beyond what we offer to others, our communities, and the world. Self-compassion is treating ourselves like we are enough. it’s amplifying grace, gentleness, and love towards ourselves despite all the noise in the background.

Self-compassion on Valentine’s Day could look like tending to your basic needs– getting sleep, nourishing your body, or taking medication. It might be regulating your nervous system through paced breathing, attending a yoga class, or cuddling up under a weighted blanket. It could be practicing a “mindful moment” by noticing judgments, participating in a guided exercise, or observing a great cup of coffee through your senses. Or maybe it’s some good-ol’ self-care like enjoying your favorite candy, watching a feel-good movie, or going for a walk.

We all need love– expressing outwards and turning inwards.

Let this Valentine’s Day be an opportunity to explore the many facets of love and solidify a standing invitation to be creative in fostering connection and warmth all year round.

Wishing you all a day…month…year…and a lifetime full of love beyond roses, blossoming within yourselves, your communities, and the world.